The story of Abraham Lincoln is one that's frequently mentioned when one wants to illustrate a point about resilience. Success stories so often quoted or narrated to provide a role model for others to follow. Nothing wrong with that. However, how many actually notice what is NOT mentioned?
Nobody mentioned about how these people felt when they failed again and again. They are also humans. I'm very sure they had their breakdowns, their "argh I can't do it" moments, their fear of uncertainty, their doubts etc. But nobody ever mentioned about these. So what happens? When "normal people" (like us) faces difficulties and failures, when these normal reactions come flooding, we feel so useless because we feel these negative feelings/thoughts. This sense of uselessness come about because nobody ever mentioned that they are normal. The successful people feel it all the time. The difference is that they just keep going despite having these feelings/doubts. Nobody can predict the future. At best is you prepare real hard for it. But there will always be an element of uncertainty, and uncertainty very naturally creates fear and doubt. In my opinion, it'll definitely be better when narrating these success stories, that doubts are normal. What's important is to accept them, and still keep moving forward. Courage is not about having no fear. Only the dead feels no fear. It's about moving on despite feeling fear.
Again, nobody mentioned about the social support that Abraham Lincoln had/not had. Having people there who believe in you counts a lot, a lot. Many times, it's the support that keeps one going, when doubts and uncertainty mount sky high. It's not just about having people who believe in you, but also people whom you know will not judge you even when you fail (and will still be there), when you disappoint them. When something happens, they may get upset with you, but it will not last because they know that you also did not want things to turn out that way either. They see your heart, what's really true and deep inside. That's why family counts so much. 23 years of my life, my family is one that truly made me feel this way. And fortunately, recently I can add a few more individuals to the list: my closest psy mates in school.
So, maybe at the end of the day, what really matters is not how many success stories you narrate to the other person, but just a simple, "no matter what happens, I believe in you, and will be there for you". And when bad things really happen, to be true to your words, and together work things out so that everybody can move on for the better.
What's also important is that people learn to accept their feelings. Only when one accepts, can one keep moving forward, and not wasting energy trying to get rid of what's only natural. What counts at the end of the day is not not-having-negative-feelings, but keep moving despite uncertainty and fears. Else, when you fails to get rid of that part of you (and you very likely will), it will be used as "evidence" of how useless you are, and the self-pitying, self-loathing, downward spiral starts.
Feb 22, 2008
Feb 17, 2008
Story of Abraham Lincoln
1832: defeated for the state legislation.
1834: (success) elected to state legislation.
1838: defeated for speaker of the state house.
1840: defeated for elector.
1843: failed at being elected to Congress.
1846: (success) elected to Congress.
1849: lost for re-election to Congress.
1855: failed at being elected into United State Senate.
1856: defeated for vice-president.
1858: failed again for United State Senate.
1860: elected to US President.
1834: (success) elected to state legislation.
1838: defeated for speaker of the state house.
1840: defeated for elector.
1843: failed at being elected to Congress.
1846: (success) elected to Congress.
1849: lost for re-election to Congress.
1855: failed at being elected into United State Senate.
1856: defeated for vice-president.
1858: failed again for United State Senate.
1860: elected to US President.
Feb 9, 2008
50 Phrases of Inspiration
1) The subject of success is the study of the Obvious.
You need to be teachable to be successful.
2) The foundation of success lies in the application of God's principles.
3) Lasting success in life is knowing your Identity, Purpose and Destiny.
4) 3 success factors are Character, Competence and Consistency.
5) Success is not a destination, but a Journey in the right direction, as one progress in the truth, faith and love.
6) A life is not important except in the Impact it has on other lives.
Your wealth is meaningless if you do not share it with others. It does no good and it does others no good if it is not shared.
7) The heart of success is the golden service of a useful life to others.
8) When you consistently satisfies a need, you will be in demand.
9) We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
10) It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
11) A hero is someone who has given his life to something bigger than oneself.
12) Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.
It means Hard Work. Sometimes we said, "He is a genius", but we do not know how much hard work he put in and the number of failures he endured.
13) Your income seldom exceeds what you invest in your personal development.
14) It is hard to keep what which has not been obtained through personal devotion and sacrifice.
15) The only way to enjoy anything in life is to earn it first.
It is an awesome feeling to own something you hard-earned for it.
16) When your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your calling.
17) Your talents are God's gift to you, but what you do with it is your gifts back to God.
18) It is not your aptitude, but your Attitude that determines your Altitude.
19) Nothing can stop the man with the right attitude from achieving his goal.
Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
20) You cannot buy a good attitude with a million dollars, but the right attitude can buy you your 1st million.
21) Your poor EQ can sabotage your high IQ.
22) I cannot do everything, but I can still do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
Many people gave up since they cannot do everything.
23) In the middle of difficulty, lies an opportunity.
Do you see difficulty in opportunity, or opportunity in difficulty?
24) Problems are often possibilities and opportunities in disguise.
25) It's not whether you get knocked down. It is whether you get up.
26) Great wealth without a balanced, healthy life is not success at all.
27) The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
28) When you make money your God, it will plague you like the devil.
29) Build your life to become an example, not a warning.
30) Your best dreams and ideas will remain only dreams if you don't wake up and execute them.
31) Vision + Passion + Action = Success
32) A goal is a dream with a deadline.
33) The secret of success is to do common things uncommonly well.
34) The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
If you do your best today, your tomorrow will be easier.
35) A wise man always delivers more than he promises.
36) Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things. Excellence is doing the right things right.
37) To learn well, one has to ask the right questions, and get the right answers from the right people.
38) Failure need not be permanent the moment you learn from it.
39) Failure is never final until you give up.
40) Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
41) Don't let failure go to your heart, or success to your head.
42) What has happened is not as important as what you do about what has happened.
43) The best economic strategy is to keep improving and doing more than required.
44) People, who never do anymore than they get paid for, never get paid for anymore than they do.
45) Joining an easy crowd will not inspire you to soar, so go where the expectations and demands are high.
46) Life is a process of accumulation, so be careful what you collect.
We cannot stop accumulation, but we need to manage it otherwise it clusters.
47) Effective motivation is Encouragement + Correction.
48) He who is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else.
In fact, it is hard work trying to find excuses.
49) We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sail.
50) The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.
You need to be teachable to be successful.
2) The foundation of success lies in the application of God's principles.
3) Lasting success in life is knowing your Identity, Purpose and Destiny.
4) 3 success factors are Character, Competence and Consistency.
5) Success is not a destination, but a Journey in the right direction, as one progress in the truth, faith and love.
6) A life is not important except in the Impact it has on other lives.
Your wealth is meaningless if you do not share it with others. It does no good and it does others no good if it is not shared.
7) The heart of success is the golden service of a useful life to others.
8) When you consistently satisfies a need, you will be in demand.
9) We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
10) It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
11) A hero is someone who has given his life to something bigger than oneself.
12) Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.
It means Hard Work. Sometimes we said, "He is a genius", but we do not know how much hard work he put in and the number of failures he endured.
13) Your income seldom exceeds what you invest in your personal development.
14) It is hard to keep what which has not been obtained through personal devotion and sacrifice.
15) The only way to enjoy anything in life is to earn it first.
It is an awesome feeling to own something you hard-earned for it.
16) When your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your calling.
17) Your talents are God's gift to you, but what you do with it is your gifts back to God.
18) It is not your aptitude, but your Attitude that determines your Altitude.
19) Nothing can stop the man with the right attitude from achieving his goal.
Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
20) You cannot buy a good attitude with a million dollars, but the right attitude can buy you your 1st million.
21) Your poor EQ can sabotage your high IQ.
22) I cannot do everything, but I can still do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
Many people gave up since they cannot do everything.
23) In the middle of difficulty, lies an opportunity.
Do you see difficulty in opportunity, or opportunity in difficulty?
24) Problems are often possibilities and opportunities in disguise.
25) It's not whether you get knocked down. It is whether you get up.
26) Great wealth without a balanced, healthy life is not success at all.
27) The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
28) When you make money your God, it will plague you like the devil.
29) Build your life to become an example, not a warning.
30) Your best dreams and ideas will remain only dreams if you don't wake up and execute them.
31) Vision + Passion + Action = Success
32) A goal is a dream with a deadline.
33) The secret of success is to do common things uncommonly well.
34) The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.
If you do your best today, your tomorrow will be easier.
35) A wise man always delivers more than he promises.
36) Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things. Excellence is doing the right things right.
37) To learn well, one has to ask the right questions, and get the right answers from the right people.
38) Failure need not be permanent the moment you learn from it.
39) Failure is never final until you give up.
40) Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
41) Don't let failure go to your heart, or success to your head.
42) What has happened is not as important as what you do about what has happened.
43) The best economic strategy is to keep improving and doing more than required.
44) People, who never do anymore than they get paid for, never get paid for anymore than they do.
45) Joining an easy crowd will not inspire you to soar, so go where the expectations and demands are high.
46) Life is a process of accumulation, so be careful what you collect.
We cannot stop accumulation, but we need to manage it otherwise it clusters.
47) Effective motivation is Encouragement + Correction.
48) He who is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else.
In fact, it is hard work trying to find excuses.
49) We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sail.
50) The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.
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