Resilience

That seems to be THE word everywhere you go. People always talk about the importance of having resilience, etc etc.

And yet, the things people do to be resilient in times of hardships, the same people who harped on resilience disagree with what is done. For e.g., one quote from our Psychology tee-shirt is, "You call it denial. I call it resilience." Most frown on denial. But sometimes, denial is necessary for resilience. At least right at the start. That's why the first stage of the grief cycle is "denial". Because the mind and soul needs time to accept the bad news. It's a form of self-defense. So to deny so that you won't collapse, is that good or bad?

One of my fav quotes from my prof, "Resilience isn't about doing well when you fall. It's about doing better." and from Confucius, "It's not about not falling, but how you pick yourself up after you fall". Right now, to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed by negativity, I had to force myself to focus on my goals, and not the present. Though I'm afraid of what lies ahead, or that I cannot reach there, I keep telling myself to have faith, take things as they come.

I want to believe that, there's nothing that drastic that'll happen such that I'll forever be stuck. It's a matter of how much I want to achieve my goals, and to find alternatives if necessary. It's just a matter of sooner or later. What's important is I do not lose sight of it. To keep on moving despite the fear and worries in me. To keep moving forward despite the regrets in my past.

Confucius, and also according to Personal Mastery, says, who doesn't have regrets. Who doesn't make mistakes? Who hasn't hurt other people? What's important is, those are already done and over. Accept the regrets, guilt and sadness. Then move on. Accept that I screwed, that I made bad decisions, that I've hurt people I love. Do what I can because it's my obligations. But don't be so obsessed with it, move on. I do not dare to hope. I don't even want to think or feel. I just do.