Loner Forever

(Decided to post some of my old poems/writings, the miserable few I can still retrieve anyway.)

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Stepping into this school
Looking forward to a brand new start
Yet finding near history repeating
Just what in the world is happening

Though not as bad as it used to
But a loner is still I am
Alone in class I will sit
Though not hated by one

Just where lies the problem
Why does the history repeats
Am I the problem
If not then what is

Is it me who holds back
Unwilling to let go, unwilling to try
No is what I feel
Yet this possibility do exist

Yes, I am unwilling and scared
To venture back into the hell I escaped
This fear holding me back I do not feel
Yet unknown to me it may be

Great desire to read their minds
To understand the mystery and the many whys
Do they really dislike me so
Or even unknown to them a distance they keep

Maybe it is nothing at all
Imagination of mine running too wild
Or too sensitive I am being
So how do I tell which is true

No, depressed I am not
This kind of situation I’m so used to
Till alone I so embrace
Till loneliness I no longer recognise

Thousands of questions racing through
Did I do anything wrong
Or said anything idiotic
Is the problem with me at all

What am I supposed to do
How am I supposed to react
Resigning to fate is what I am
What else can I do anyway

- Published: 05-02-2002